Submitted!

This post has taken a long time because the past couple of weeks has just been focused on getting a decent draft before I went down South on a few days off from work. I am really excited about the draft I have submitted, there is still some development needed but one good session of editing resulted in a version where I can really admit it has become something I originally pitched it to be.

So the changes I made; firstly I changed Polly’s name to Mia. Despite this screenplay is based on emotions I am feeling in life at the moment, it is like every fantasy script, it is an over-exaggerated depiction, so the choosing of Polly wasn’t like a pseudonym or me saying “like guys, this story is my life”; believe it or not, I got the name from Nirvana. The story behind the song is so interesting and the tone of the song just adds to its creepiness and you think Polly is such a girly, uninteresting name, you can’t believe such a tragedy would happen to them, adding depth to the name.I didn’t care it rhymed with my name…or maybe subconsciously I thought, it added more depth… Anyway, I called Folly because that DID rhyme with Polly’s name and the definition of ‘folly’ is “lack of good sense”; to me, this explained why my character would take to this apparition in her room because sometimes you do things because of the lack of sense. Basically, it is just me constantly having meaning and symbolism in everything I do, which is very exhausting and doesn’t always work. Where Mia came from is what I usually do to (a part from take names from songs in my playlist) is go type Baby Names into google and go on the first website on the list then go through until one sounds right. Mia is short but sweet; not overly girly but not too butch. This time I didn’t want her name to define her.

Other changes I made were to Folly’s appearance and I once again this is one of the aspects the submitted version that really made me content. The thing I enjoy about writing is the successful puzzle-solving of structuring every single part of your script, it might take me ages (flashbacks of me sitting in my 3rd year house kitchen at 4am drinking coffee while everyone else was asleep, trying to figure out the next scene in the 3rd Act of Melanie) but I will read something or think a train of thought and the answer will pop into my head and a weight is lifted of my shoulders (my HEART). I will be ecstatic for the next so many hours long it takes me to right whatever I was trying to figure out until the next problem. This is going to sound VERY naive and maybe unworldly but to me, that is my fix. Not drugs, cigarettes, sex (you can judge, its okay), and whatever else gives people that excitement; not even eating my favourite food gives me the same excitement. I always say to my parents to assure them this is what I want to do, that these little happy moments and success is why I want to write as well as wanting to tell stories and make films. And once I explain what I changed you’ll be like “dude, is that it” but I only chose the other description because I needed something. So now, Folly is made up of patches of black/dirty skin like a skin suit and has now eyes or mouth but when he talks the area where the mouth should be moves. Think Deadpool and Spiderman. But creepier. I still think he is like the Shadowman because that’s how he moves and at the start, his form is made up of shadow but you can see the stitches. Some may think this is too scary, why would Mia talk to someone looking like this? To answer this question is for people to think of their own loneliness and the things that you have done to just take that feeling away. Think it as an exaggerated version of someone sleeping with someone they shouldn’t have or is not their usual taste because they just wanted to be with SOMEONE. I used Crimson Peak (2015) once again for help with the look of Folly and you know what, I’m just gonna buy Guillermo Del Toro’s art book.

The other changes were more minor like the pacing and just the scenarios in scenes and to help with this, I read the Macbeth (2015) script, which was written by Jacob Koskoff, Todd Louiso, and Michael Lesslie. Previously, I refrained from looking at other screenplays while I was learning from the Northern Film School lecturers on how to write a screenplay because I wanted to learn the theory then develop my own style, my own voice. I first was looking at other scripts to help with dialogue, especially with the pacing when Folly is basically doing a monologue so what’s better than an adaptation of a William Shakespeare play, pioneer of great monologues. Also, I had watched it for the first time a few weeks ago and I just thought it brilliantly portrayed the psychological torments both Macbeth and Lady Macbeth were going through. Instead of over-playing the supernatural and gothic elements of the play, they showed us that these problems were related to the pressures of their positions in society and their past traumas especially the death of their child. The script is perfect example of how to tell a story through script format which I’ll admit I find difficult sometimes. However, the use of ellipses and hyphens just added dramatic pause and built up tension so simply; a new lesson learnt and I think it has made a difference.

So now I just wait… Because I am happy with this draft, I think it will be okay to leave it be until we hear if we are successful or not. Until next time…